Frustration, Rage, Some More Frustration

Oh god. I fucking fail at control. Ate 1400 calories again yesterday! What the hell is wrong with me?! Oh, yes, I know, bf is at home and I am returning right into the pattern that got me fat in the first place: I eat what he eats. The same amounts. The same giganormous amounts.

I cannot.

He’s got a super intense metabolism and it’s just not my situation. I need to get a grip. But how? Any suggestion? I cannot fast, he will notice. I cannot restrict as much as I’d want either. If I don’t eat at work people will notice… What do I do!?

What about… 24hrs fast every single day? No eating before 6PM. “Going for lunch” every day at the coffee shop and only get a tea or a coffee. WALK THERE. Sounds easy enough EXCEPT I will have to bloody damn control myself at the coffee shop. Temptation will include donuts, soup, muffins, croissants, sandwiches and god knows what else.

Can I do this?
Where’s my motivation?
Where’s my 116 lbs dream?
Where’s the gap between my thighs?

By the by I am back at 123 lbs.
I haven’t budged in what…. a month? 124-121-122-123-126-120-AAAAARGH!
I’m tired of not progressing!
Talk about plateau.

My body is too comfortable at this weight…

Let’s shock it and break it.
I will be 116 by November 4.

I have to.
HAVE TO.

edit: I know! I will only bring money enough for a tall coffee. That's all. Not a cent more. I just wont be able to give in. Genius!