SPTGT116 Day 6

What a weird day Tuesday was! It felt likeouter space forces were working against me. And I am beginning to truly believe in this version of the story.

Hunger. Hunger is everywhere. Since Sunday. I’ve been good, holding tight into this detox plan that is not really a detox anymore. But yesterday was really hard. If wish there wasn’t all these contexts, all these factors, these friends, this pressure. I wish I was home alone. Truly free to eat or refuse what I want. But I am not and I eat, eat, eat. Then purge. It's the second this week.

First the cleanse worked well yesterday then I was hungry hungry. But it really went bad after work. We went to the Chinese garden to see the illuminated lantern installation. It was dreamy! Incredible shapes hidden into the trees and the bushes. It was nice outside and I enjoyed the walk. It was like a dream and M was there and we kissed under the soft lights. But before that I ate a giganormous snack. I was supposed to nib onto carrots in order to keep me going until after the garden but the snack soon turned into bagel, dip, apricots. Almost 300 calories for the lot.

Then we decided to go to a restaurant. I had grilled chicken with rice noodle and a salad. But I purged them. I could not handle the tought of it added to my “snack”. So… total of 760 calories post-purge but I am really not proud of them.

Tues. Oct. 20, 09
1,000 calories allowed

Lunch
Scottish Oatmeal with fresh strawberries (165)

Snack
Larabar cherry pie (200)
Praeventia cranberry and pomegranate (100)

Dinner
¾ bagel (200)
3 dried apricots (50)
Tofu spread with carrots (45)


Total: 760

Exercise
Walking, slow pace 2h (285)
Total: 285
More than half's worth of eating : FAIL –DOUBLE TOMORROW
Less than 1,200 cal/day: CHECK!
No junk food: CHECK!
2 L Water: CHECK!