Fat fest

Mood: Depressed
Listening to: Nothing
Reading: Slaughterhouse 5
Watching: conferences on TED.
Eating: Chocolate and cupcakes
Drinking: Wine

Friday
B :
Apple 55
Cranberry and pomegranate granola bar 100
Coffee, black 0
L:
6 New York sushi rolls 225
V8 vegetable juice can 70
D:
Chicken pumpkin chilli 310
S:
2 chocolate balsamic cupcakes 300
2 cups popcorn 140


Total: 1,200

Jesus Christ! Over 1000 calories? Seriously. WHAT THE HELL? Fortunately 1,200 calories/day is my ultimate limit and I am right on (Ha-HA). No purging. But still; WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

I feel like a broken record, but why my life's going in circles? What is going on? Why when I am tired, sick, sad, depressed, happy, excited, apprehensive, or WHATEVER, do I have to cope with food? Why why why why why?? Food is not the solution. Why is it so hard to phantom? Food is not the answer, food is not going to make me happy, food is not going to make me thin. It's the opposite. OPPOSITE, Luella!

I would like to blame it on being sick or even the spliff I smoked before dinner with M but really, it wouldn’t change anything.

URGH.

I don't need to bake myself cupcakes after a generous portion of chili. I don't need to make myself popcorn popped in OIL either. I don't.

no. nononononononnono.

Oh God I hate myself, I am fat and ugly and I don't deserve ANYTHING related to happiness.