Mood: HYPER!
Listening to: -
Reading: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time
Watching: Rome SSN2
Eating: Veggies and hummus
Drinking: Black tea
I GOT IT!!
I got it, I got it, I got it! Yes, I got the job! I am so happy and relieved and excited. I am starting next monday. I have one week left in hell (I love my loft, it's just packed with food ALL the time and being a loft I pretty much live in the kitchen...) and then I can get back to serious work.
On an other note: I am seriously fucked up in the head. I want to restrict as hard as I can, I want to eat once a day but my head is clearly not with me. I litterally obess about eating "right". It is always in my head. I don't eat junk food. Ever. (okay, except when I am drunk...) It's like I think it is going to kill me. It's not much about counting calories but eating only "good" food. Whole. Organic. Free-range. Whatever.
And this obsession is pushing me to eat regular meal or I get crazy and jumpy and I start to focus how I am not treating my body well. It want two things completely opposite. It does not make any sense!
Anyway. I don't really know what to do. I am stuck in the low 120's and eating 700 calories. My body is used to it. It's comfortable at this number. AND. I. CANNOT. FORCE. IT. DOWN. My crazy mind won't allow me to fast or restrict more. What do I do? Anybody has the same problem?
About Me
- Luella
- Hi, I am Luella, 22, lover, photographer, artist, dancer, writter, cinema student, computer support for a big compagny, cook, yogi but here I am defined by my mildly secret orthorexia nervosa.
2 comments:
everytime i've ever had that problem in the past, the thing that got me past was (accidentally) having a day with a LOT of cals. like, 1500-2000 (of food).
i know it sounds like a silly folklore rule but you do need to trick your metabolism into thinking theres much more coming...xx
A high day might definitely help...
Maybe like 1,000 for 2 days and then drop back down to 700.
Congrats on your job, love!
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