Clothes and Fights

Don’t you love the light-headed feeling of being completely empty? That’s how I feel this week. I fasted again until 7PM yesterday. I was so damn hungry when I got home, but I am glad I managed to get trough the day with only water and coffee.

I finally opted for a fried wild rice salad when I got home. It was good! I also had a small bowl of berries with granola and low-fat whipped cream and a tall glass of almond milk. I wished I’d stopped there but at 11PM I had a small bowl of Puffins and a handful of Starburst candies. Total of 750 for yesterday. I could have stopped at 550 without the snack. But considering my disastrous weekend, I think I am doing ok.

I went shopping for various things like paint and acrylic spray yesterday and I wandered into the clothing section of the store. I really needed pants (they are all too big!) so since they were so cheap and I am quite broke, I figured why not have a look? I need pants for work, so something classy and guess what? There wasn’t ANYTHING that fitted. Their smallest size for women is 6. What the!? So I went into the junior section and I finally found an ok marine pair of trousers size 3 for 15$.

Aaaand I also got myself a nice grey light shirt. Do you own a specific piece of clothing that hangs on your bones (or at least looks like it hangs from your almost bones)? Well, I do now. And it looks wonderful. I look so damn skinny in it. It’s just perfect and I fell in love with it the moment I looked into the dirty mirror of the store. I am wearing it right now and I am smiling like an idiot.

So anyway, I had to weight myself yesterday and I was relieved to see… 120! Last-weekend debacle is officially over. But that won’t keep me from 24hrs fasting today and tomorrow. Today because… well I don’t really have a reason for today. But tomorrow I have yet another birthday party and yet another restaurant to go to. Tibetan this time. I hear it’s very similar to Indian which is bad news as Indian food is soaked in sauce and butter and has a lot of bread. How am I going to do this!? Urgh.

I had a small fight with M yesterday. I started it. I hate fighting. We are a pretty happy couple most of the time but lately he’s been so… immature. He doesn’t do a thing in the apartment and I am tired of being his maid. I think he understood in the end but I am feeling guilty for upsetting him. I really hope things change because I won’t be able to keep going if he doesn’t get his things right.

Moving on.

I am going to pick blueberries Saturday! It’s the perfect time of the season and it should be fun! I am going with M, of course, and with my mother and my two sisters too. I want to give a try on blueberry jam and blueberry pie. I know! Bad! Bad! Bad! But it’s so good! Good! Good! We shall see, one thing is sure though; I will absolutely NOT eat over 800 calories either Saturday of Sunday. You have my word.

116 lbs won’t happen on 1000+ calories/day. Oh no it won’t.