What they say

I am a complete zombie this morning. 3 hrs of sleep.

I did not do any training yesterday except dancing at the club yesterday. But surprisingly; I burned more while standing (not sitting one bit!) and dancing than I ate. I planned on eating something satisfying for dinner to prepare for the fast, but when I got home I worked on pictures and completely forgot about food until about 8. Now I am super hungry, but I won’t eat until at least 8 tonite. That’s a promise.

So, food intake went smooth yesterday: big bowl of fruit salad for breakfast (orange, grapefruit, mango and the most delicious organic tiny grapes I’ve ever tasted with a dollop of rose honey) with a small glass of almond milk. Then by 10AM I already ate my snack, 1 yellow plum (I planned 4 but 3 of them were not good), lunch, same as usual (hummus and veggies!) and for dinner tomato salad with banana bread and a handful of Swedish berries from hell. Total of 614. Burned: 634

Three things related to my weight happened at the club yesterday.

1. Remember when I said I knew the barmaid? Well, that’s because M is a dj at this club I always go and I see her all the time. She’s a vegan, is not taller than 5’2” and she’s 85-90 lbs tops. And the coatcheck girl; same thing. Well, they’ve been talking about my weight and they have agreed that I look perfect right now. The barmaid told me I was looking good and I shouldn’t lose anymore weight because if I continue I’ll lose my curves…. And I was like…errr, ok? I like her to bits, she is nice and I have lots of fun with her but wtf? I don’t get when skinny girls (who obviously have/had eating issues) tells others not to lose weight. I mean, it’s not like I look sick or anything. I look a lot thinner, yes, but I am perfectly normal right now. The problem was before, when I was on the verge of overweight. So I just froze and said I was careful. That I am exercising a lot and all I want is to be toned and fit. Which is mostly the truth.

2. I have this other friend, model, skinny skinny, who told me: "Fuck Luella, stop melting! How will I look at your side now?! You’ve lost like 30 pounds in a month!" Yeah, right. I lost 40 pounds in 8 months. If the barmaid remark kind of pissed me off, this one actually made me feel good because L is straight forward and not competitive. She is fierce and wants fierce friends. She is quite a character, in fact. So anyway, she then confides that she had put on weight recently and she loves it because she has boobs now. Told you, quite a character.

3. A doorman told me that I have melted lately. He then proceeded to tell me how I looked good before and I look equally good now. He said: "It must me good to know that if you put on weight later, you’ll still look stunning." It think it was a compliment. Weird. Anyway.

So yeap! people are starting to talk about me/my weight. Some people are happy for me, some people are downright jealous and others are kind of ambivalent. In any case, I’m still planning on hitting 116 whatever they say.

Today: fast. It's 11:30 now and I am hungry but I won't give in. I plan on taking a nap in my car at lunch time to avoid the cafeteria and my coworkers. I am super tired, which is good because I tend to feel more numb than hungry.

I was 121.8lbs this morning and intend to be 121 tonite. We shall see.